Requiem for a Tower Makes Everything Epic

It does, indeed. It even made that English video more awesome while a certain someone put on gloves ever so slowly. It will hopefully be on YouTube soon. :D

My 30-Second Swine Flu

Would writing a terror/suspense story about swine flu for Writer's Craft be too offensive? Oh well; I'm doing it anyway. :D

Speaking of swine flu, I felt so sick today. D:

Of course, oddly enough, I feel much better now at 1:13 AM, which would lead you to believe I've saved this post in draft mode for quite a while now. Slews of posts appearing tenfold should've been hint enough.

It might also lead you to believe that I am the cure for swine flu, like how Bart was the cure to zombification in that Halloween episode. I'll just swim in your food and... *poop*

Happy Halloween '09!

Beware the paedophil-err... vampires! Yes; that's right... Vampires! :[

Bored? Have no friends? Want a list of things to do? Well, I normally have a life but I'm too swine-flu'd to do things at the moment, so I'll make a list for you. :D

Don't worry... Nothing illegal... You can think of those yourself. ;D

Anyway, without further ado:

-Watch Twitches and Twitches Too!
They're both terrible movies but hey; I'm sick, and personally, I thought it was about seizures. T*Witches my ass. >_>
Here's a synopsis: "Hey! We're twins!" "Hey! We have superpourz!" "Ohnoes! Our mom is being raped by the darkness (no, seriously ._.')."
It takes place in Coventry. Guess why. Don't know? Well, that's all right, since no one cares:

Coventry was also the world's first 'twin' city when it formed a twinning relationship with the Russian city of Stalingrad (now Volgograd) during World War II.

Interesting, eh? Not really? I concur. I'd pay about half a baht for it. On to the next item of interest!

-Costumes? Pics or it didn't happen!
Ahh yes... Costumes... Trench coats are not recommended, for... obvious reasons. My costume was the best and you know it. I was Kiba from Naruto, per se. I had a little stuffed dog and I name him Akamaru and put him on my shoulder. Thus, I am Kiba. :D
I'd love to dress up like him (not really), but he's too weird-looking, like all Naruto characters.

-Candy!
Halloween's not Halloween unless there's candy to be had.
Of course, if you're lazy, you can just leave a bowl of candy outside.
But what if it gets stolen?
That's the point, dumb ass.
By one person?
Well, there's a simple solution to that: just get a big sign...
FREE CANDY! (MAY CONTAIN TRACES OF SWINE FLU)
:)

-Watch Friends.
I'm sick. D:
...but Friends was on. :D

I'm going to head off to bed now to sleep off my swine flu. kthxbi!

My Family Name

I want a son! No one cares about daughters because only men pass on the family name.

Of course, my name is Asian, so it's passed around more than herpes, which is more than enough...

So why do people care? Just give your child a unisex name like Ping Pang Pong and everyone'll be happy. :)

...Except your son and/or daughter, of course. :x

see paper

shall edit later

EDIT: Well, I seem to have lost the "paper," on which I wrote my idea. So therefore, just dropping by to say hi. :)

DIY kthx

It's time for an English lesson.

Literature is referred to in the present tense. That is all.

Those errors are the most numerous by nature and frankly, they take a hell of a long time to correct.

Happy 100th Post

That's right! This is the 100th post! Huzzah! I'm glad that you have made it thus far. :)

Now, prepare to bear witness to my attempt at being Candlejacked because it is so awesome to be randomly tied up and abdu

(The following link is NSFW.)

What? If I can't say Candlejack then that is pure bullsh

:/

A Slap, Some Water, and Dead Puppies

Dead puppies, per se! ...I like puppies. D:

So yes. For English, I had to say "Marilyn... Marilyn's sister... I am your father." It's too bad that I sounded British when I said that. D:

Why didn't we do a retake? Simple: I laughed through like ten takes of it! Why would you make me do that? There's a reason I didn't take drama. :x

To stop laughing, I had to first slap myself. That didn't work. D:

Then, I tried drinking some water. Luckily, I swallowed it before breaking into another fit of laughter.

Then I thought of dead puppies. Epic depression. D:

...Oh well; the ending result was hilarious and the class enjoyed it. :)

Bitter Balsam

The balsam pear, better known as bitter gourd or bitter melon, is an Old World, tendril-bearing vine having orange, warty fruits that open at maturity to expose red-coated seeds. Yum.

So I used a little bit of negative connotation... It was only a little. :)

At least I didn't double underline it, too. :/

So anyway, my parents decided to grow it a while ago for lack of better things to do with all that backyard space. Yep. Bitter melon... Anyone want some? :T

Some tomatoes would've been nice but apparently, Chinese people prefer eating bitter melon, especially when bitter and acrid. What kind of masochistic Asians did they use for that "fact?" Eww. :c

At least one cool thing came out of it: they made a tiny shelter of sorts with the vines. You can go under it and everything! :o

It's like a gazebo for short people. :3

There's Something Wrong with Hank Hill

See, he doesn't get addicted to using cocaine like a normal person. Instead, he gets addicted to fishing with it! If I was his family, I would've thought that he just went to the lake to do some private jacking off to satisfy his tunaphilia. o_O

Let's analyze it like English nerds! Well, one target audience is, of course, Americans. He is, without a doubt, their next-in-line for deity. Who needs Superman? You have Hank Hill... Yay~

We, as Canadians, laugh at how satirical it is. :D

Honestly, if his neck gets any redder, either the universe will explode or all Hell will break loose. There will be hillbillies everywhere. D:

I have nothing against Texans though (esp. KevJumba ^^). Everywhere gets better after a little cultural mosaic-ization.

If You Don't Use It, You Lose It!

Yes; that's right. Your agenda's getting lonely. You use it plenty to record your homework but once you get home, all you do is enter your homework into your personal message on MSN. Your agenda's dying of neglect, just like your conscience. D:

Are you really going to remember to do your homework while not looking at your personal message, since the only time you ever look at your own is when you're changing it?

Alternatively, you could post up a witty remark, or, for the wittiness-challenged, a song name or song lyric.

I'm serious about the "lose it" part though. Of course, some people lose it anyway. *cough*Brian*cough*

But Why? No! Stop That! D:

I don't know why, but an epic pet peeve of mine is when people use the eraser on the top of my pencil. My pencil. If I was nice enough to lend you a pencil then surely you should show a little restraint and consideration. :/

It's just as bad as when people run red lights, or when people drive right over the sidewalk when exiting a parking lot while a pedestrian is clearly two seconds away. Here's a message to all impatient drivers: go f*ck yourself. >:/

Speaking of bad drivers, once, I was innocently crossing the street at an intersection, obeying all of the pedestrian signals like a good boy, unlike Steven (you jaywalker :/ ), and this creepy old man starts to turn left, right at me! D:

He barely slowed down and he honked his horn so I had to run for my life. :/

If I ever see him again, I'll be sticking a huge-ass pickaxe in his horn, while banishing him to a deserted island with the Jonas Brothers.

The moral here: don't f*ck with me. 'kay? ;D

Saturday Math Class

It's that day again! Time to bend over and take my weekly dose of math. :/

I don't mind though. My teacher is rather... animated. He actually used this example in class:

It's like unravelling a ball of string, and I'm the cat, and I'm playing with the ball, except cats are messy. :3

...and then we learned horizontal shift. :D

...Somehow... o_O

Oh well. I'll just do my 8 pages of homework now.

Paying to receive more homework... T_T

Pseudo-food

Starvation isn't fun. I have no food at home. D:

Well, there's "food," per se, but note the quotation marks and Latin. If I want a snack, it'll take a good 10 minutes. Why? Simple: my parents never go to non-Chinese places anymore. D:

If I want cookies, I have to go buy them. If I want cheese, I have to go buy it. I mean, fruits are wonderful and all but there comes a time in everyone's life when you get tired of questionably named fruits. No, mother, I do not want to eat a... stomach...? Oddly enough, that one word in Cantonese is used to refer to like three different fruits so if my parents want me to get something for them, it usually takes me two or three tries to get it right. :x

Epic sad face. T_T

Of course, I can always snack on vegetables! Let's see... Ran out of lettuce and carrots, turnips are disgusting, don't really want to eat a raw onion or pepper (o_O), allergic to eggplant...

Well, that just leaves the one thing my parents do buy:

I can always have bok choy if I really want. Yay~ >_>

The ABC - A Bestiality Community

So the Agincourt Business Council decided to have an icebreaker where we each get a character name sticky-note'd onto our back. We then had to go around asking people yes/no questions regarding who that character is until we can find our "counterpart."

It was a fun game! See, these two people had Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and they found each other! Then, a council executive suggested throwing in a Jennifer Aniston to see what happens. o_o

That's not even the best part! Okay, so Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were made for each other so they matched perfectly fine. I somehow got stuck with Pikachu and my match was Ash...? Are you implying that Ash has... used his Sudowoodo to Harden and Explosion all over Pikachu? You know? That he... used Secret Power and got Muk all up in Pikachu's bunghole? That his Diglett Dugtrio'd Pikachu's Squirtle?

D:

And So, The Butthurt Begins

I miss my 100% in accounting. T_T

This is a lesson to everyone: you should always pay attention in class, regardless of how easy the class is! Of course, a better lesson would probably be that if you're going to sacrifice an accounting test for a math test, you should try to pass the math test. ._.'

So, with my newly tarnished academic career (i.e. a 90% average, since we all know that a 90 gets you nowhere nowadays), I should start to consider my other options. This choice is just like when I was deciding on taking AP math or not; I can either be the average amongst the elite or the king of the normies. Let's see... Try for Waterloo anyway, or go straight to Ryerson...

OH GOD! What am I saying!?! Eugh! Ryerson!?! No offence, but if a university is trying to sell that many programs at the university fair with a requirement of 70% or higher, then it's probably not very good at most of them. See, I'm a jack-of-all-trades, master at data. :3

On the other hand, Ryerson is like... fail-at-all-trades, fail even at failure. :/

Of course, no offence to all you people who actually want to go there. I'll admit that it's good for certain specific areas but would anyone really want to go there to study, say, English lit.?

nothx :o

Sh--ting Whaaat!?!

What mythical beast is called a blessing when in a group? Don't know? Well, no one expects anyone to. Apparently, it's a unicorn. UNICORNS!

They asked us that in Reach For the Top. You know? Reach for the Top? That sh**ty little game they have on channel 2 that no one cares about because it's so tl;dr? It's just one super herpetic explosion keener that answers all the questions with his ninja-like hand reflexes raping the buzzer. o_o

Of course, the super nerd is most likely uncoordinated, which makes him unsuitable for... everything else available in a high school. So much for pursuing that ninja-ing career.

Anyway, there's usually just one question out of a million or so where the answer is actually "unicorns." Looks like we used it up. D:

I Need a Roommate

Since when was an Internets article considered an "essay?" Although it is interesting (and creepy) that creepy dads like to watch us on Facebook, this is so not an essay. It has an author, a date, and everything! It's a newspaper article and you know it. D:

I'll seriously eventually need a roommate, though... assuming I don't fail the crap out of math. I like Waterloo. D:

Why exactly did we take advanced placement mathematics again? We could've been the rulers of the other classes! (Haha. Rulers. As in math! /wrist.) That doesn't make us keeners; that makes us super keeners.

Yes, really, and yes, there is a difference. It's like the difference between herpes and super herpes; one is just more herpetic!

Yes, herpetic is a word. :/ Don't believe me? Fine! I'll prove it:

herpetic
a.[Cf. F. herpétique.]
Pertaining to, or resembling, the herpes; partaking of the nature of herpes; as, herpetic eruptions.

Lol@ "herpetic eruption." Eugh... Nasty. xD

Thanksgiving

It's not officially Thanksgiving yet but I already had Thanksgiving dinner so it's Thanksgiving enough. :D

I have a theory on why it's called "Thanksgiving."

Thanks for giving us a day off from school. :D

Ehh? Ehh? No? :/

Penology 101

Dirty, dirty minds on all of you! :o

Well... I have nothing to say about the study, theory, or practice of prison management or criminal rehabilitation so I guess I had to be slightly dirty to come up with it. :3

...Suck my pianist. :/

To Outlaw 2 for 1

Thanks for giving me a second one free, infomercial, though I would've really preferred simply getting one for half the price. No, really; I don't want the second one if I have to pay separate shipping and handling! I really doubt I'd need a second tub of Paperonis/set of Strap Perfects/Snuggie/ShamWow/Slap Chop. Epic sad face. D:

In fact, I really doubt I'd even want one Snuggie to begin with. :/

Now What?

Huzzah! It's a glorious day!

At last, your bra strap will not be visible thanks to this tacky clamp! Now... what will you do about the tacky clamp? :/

It's kind of like how tomato juice is the cure for skunk stink; you'd then need a cure for tomato stink. D:

Of course, the difference there is that skunks don't offer Strap Perfect kits, which contain 6 clear, 6 black, and 6 "nude" strap perfects. Yep. They're definitely for everyone all right.

Well, morons, if you honestly need a Strap Perfect, then you might as well get a Snuggie blanket to go with it. Yep. Morons.

The Face of Perfection

Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitches! I still have 100% in data management, finanacial accounting principles, and economics! ;D

It's too bad the face of perfection is tarnished... It's just a small pimple. :/

It's oh so slight... Well, it's about as slight as a third breast. A 50% in English isn't too much to worry about, right? T_T

...OH WELL! I still get a nice, safe 89%. :D

Justin has defeated wild samich! Justin has reached lvl 2!
Nerdaraderie +1
Smarticles +2
Ego +x^2 --It only goes up from here. :/

Running Out of Money

Disney must be if they're trying to market off Wizards of Waverly Place dolls. Alternatively, instead of buying those overpriced "toys," you can buy a barbie and dye its hair brown. They all look the same anyway. :/

This entry's actually about me, though. Screw Disney. :D

So yes, I am running out of money. I would personally like to blame... well... my friends. Your birthday presents are expensive. D:

Well, to be fair, I only spent like $20-30 on each of you and I'd say that's a fairly priced gift considering our age and lack of money. :T

Of course, it really feels more like spending a hundred because all of you guys are New Year's sex babies! Geez! Can't you guys spread out a little more? It's like budget's broken and dying of super herpes but I don't have to spend a dime until September! Well, I might get myself a little somethin' somethin' for my own birthday. :3

But Mother! I must buy my friends birthday gifts, even though it is also my birthday coming up!

See, I know what I want best. :D

Err... I guess I can't buy happiness...

...in the form of manipulation of fire. :o

Self-Explanatory

You can't Kanye Kanye but you can Kanye Beyoncé!

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Not Hard to Believe

Does anyone really not believe that Kanye West is capable of making this chesty video? (Lol. Double-entendre. ;D)

No one would think that little Jimmy Brooks from Degrassi would do that... Of course, for those who don't already know, Kanye West directed it.

Yep. Kanye West, as in the I'mma-let-you-finish guy. He's the funniest little black man (no racism intended) that God has ever graced us with.

My, my. My blog is so verbose. Know what it needs? It needs to be Kanye'd. ;D

Gacha-Pon!

Err...

Gashapon (ガシャポン) or gachapon (ガチャポン), also referred to as "capsule toy", is a Japanese onomatopoeia, made up of two sounds: "gacha" for the turning of a crank on a toy vending machine, and "pon" for the sound of the toy capsule dropping into the receptacle.

Umm... How, exactly? I don't hear it. It sounds more like clink-clink-clink to me.

Gachapon toys are awesome, though. You insert a buck or two and you get an awesome little toy. I still remember this Pokéball/Pikachu transformer thing that I got. It's so soft and cuddly. :D

They also make excellent birthday presents though the Japanese give you weird-ass stuff like Final-Fantasy-poisoned Hello Kitty plushies (happy birthday, Selena ._.). Of course, that's only in Canada. You can apparently get either coffee or a dildo from the same gachapon in Japan. D:

Mommy! Mommy! I wanted a NeoNaruPoké-Oh Egyptian pyramid but look at what I got instead! A vibrating banana! Yum.

o_o

You Can Stand Under My Umbrella

To be honest, no you can not. >:o

I'd love to share my umbrella with you all but my metallic umbrella broke. D:

My parents were nice enough to buy me a new one. It looked just like my old umbrella except the handle felt more comfortable. Then I opened it. It was a plastic umbrella. Even though my last one, which was metal, broke. Thanks mom and dad.

T_T

I Sing Treason

Blasphemer!

Our national anthem was Pachelbel'd! Canon's great and all but it's everywhere!

I liked the original national anthem more. It was short and sweet... and not country music. Let's see what they've done to our country's song so far.

They've Pachelbel'd and epic tl;dr'd it, they've gotten tone-deaf kids to sing it, they've gotten a gay cowboy to sing it... Oh God. T_T

I'm a Visa Person

...but oh well. It doesn't mean I can't MasterCard things. ;D

The school is the black hole... of money. It's just an abysmal void that sucks everything in! They really suck at spending money. :/

Being an aspiring accounting student, I think I can safely redo my MasterCard'd school rip-off because it's not an official anything! :D

So, now, with our newfound knowledge...

-painting lockers: $10,000 (Yep. They spent a thousand more than what they said they were going to spend originally.)

-buying 4 used portables: $2.50, max >_>

-waxing the floor: worthless now LOL

-Agincourt CI: still worthless >_>

For everything else in life, there's butthash. ;D

...Eugh. o_O

The Island... of Math... Yay o_O

Didn't I already make a comparison to the island?

OH WELL; here's another one. :)

AP math is wonderful; our average is higher than the dumbest class by 34. They must be keeping something from us though...

How exactly are we getting more and more students? It's not like they can appear out of thin air like that after the teachers have already chosen!

Oh crap. We're all going to die.

On our test.

Oh wait; we just did. ;_;

Happy October Day!

One month of school died! Yes!

See? It wasn't that bad... Kind of. ._.

Of course, it's not like there's anything to do that we couldn't have done during the summer. Now it's just summer with homework and no sleeping in. :/

I know what'll make life more interesting! Let's have an Oktoberfest! I don't drink personally but the concept of being the one-eyed among the blind drunks seems fun. :3