Haha. This one's near and dear to my heart. Well, not really, but it's hilarious! (It's not written by me.)
Survival Story
.....I raised my hand in disgust as the math problem flashing before me confused me. She approached, the earth rumbled; she walked towards me, the earth crumbled.
.....She questioned why I have summoned her. As her voice screeched across the world like nails on the chalkboard, birds fell from the sky foreshadowing the Hell I was about to face.
.....Hell seemed to have been brought on upon me with a tremendous force. I moved aside to exhibit the screen, where in front of her laid a math problem even she was dumbfounded by; so dumbfounded that the beast inched closer for a better look.
.....That's when the gates to Hell swung open and out of it was something indescribable in size and disgust. Before I can even whimper, the breast of this beast had settled--no--it had slept and rested on my shoulder with a tremendous force. I felt my collar bone pop and my neck crack.
.....For I have reason to believe I was dead. But no; the merciless creature shook and the breast engaged into a snuggling feast of horror... Oh the horror...
........................................-Survivor of '05-'06
Most of you should know which teacher this is referring to by now. Happy reading!
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